As you cruise through the Midwest, you might notice something new sprouting up in the forgotten corners of asphalt America. Right there in Walmart parking lots, swap meets, and the occasional wide spot in the road, you’ll find the latest addition to the Chainsaw Chicken empire: The Roadside Shop.
At the helm is Fred Gunar and his grandson, Lunar Gunar. Together, they set up camp and display the full range of merchandise—t-shirts, e-books, stickers, and assorted poultry-adjacent oddities you didn’t know you needed. If it clucks, squawks, or remotely resembles a chicken, odds are they’ll try to sell it to you.
But the real attraction isn’t the merch. It’s Cinnamon.
Fred’s life-size synthetic girlfriend.
Yes, she’s made of space-age polymers. Yes, she often models Chainsaw Chicken apparel in a way that some describe as “provocative” and others describe as “an HR violation waiting to happen.” And yes, touching Cinnamon is absolutely prohibited. Fred is firm on that point. Firm.
Lunar just smiles, sells shirts, and pretends not to hear the questions.
So if you can’t stop, at least roll your window down, stick your head out, and give Fred and Lunar a holler. Cinnamon will be there too, staring off into the distance, silently reminding us all that the Chainsaw Chicken universe has no bottom—only parking lots.
