After months and months of therapy with all the small victories and multitudes of setbacks, Chainsaw’s newest therapist, Dr. Jolly West, decided to start doing word association as a meter to the degree of progress treatments have yielded. “Mr. Chicken”, the Dr. shifted in his chair. “We need to do a simple test now and […]
How ‘Bout My Genes?
The Superior fit! “Breaking news from the denim front lines!” Chainsaw Chicken announced while twisting his hips in a pair of spray-painted-on jeans. “Apparently, wearing American Eagle now qualifies you for a slot in the Master Race—at least if you’re Sydney Sweeney and your marketing department forgot what century we’re living in.” Chainsaw spun around, […]
Gill-Mann Amnesia Thoughts
Now before you think I’m referencing something about the Universal Pictures movie “Creature from the Black Lagoon”, I’m not. This is my revelation I wish to pass on to my readers. In a speech in 2002, Michael Crichton coined the term Gell-Mann amnesia effect to describe the phenomenon of experts reading articles within their fields […]
B.O.L.O. Alert!
Authorities are asking for the community’s assistance in identifying and aiding in the apprehension of this individual. So this ‘Be On the Look Out’ warning will help. “Information has come to our attention that he may have been involved in some criminal activities earlier this month” stated chief of operations. When questioned by the reporters […]
Commodore Chicken
The creator of Apple computer products, Steve Jobs and the robotic creator of the line of home computers named after him, Commodore Chicken, listened intensely to Bill Gates. He’s the creator of Microsoft. They hung on every word and phrase as Bill outlined his plans for the rest of the world. “I am going to […]
Mr. DJ, would you play…?
“Hello??? Mr. DJ??? This is Betty Shields. I’m the President of the Malibu League of the Chainsaw Chicken Fan Club”. “Well hello little girl”, the DJ replied. “I wasn’t aware of any club like that. Who’s it for? Some Chicken?” “Oh yes sir!” She exclaimed; “He is very special. At least to us. He is […]
Taking the Deep Dive
In an attempt to be the first, Chainsaw Chicken has made arrangements to walk from San Fransisco, California to Honolulu, Hawaii… under water. We know that the popular notion is that it is simply impossible to travel that far under water. But, in the age of identifying one’s self as “whatever I need to be”, […]
Quickdraw McChicken
The Cowboy and Indians Museum in Norman, Oklahoma announced today that they have selected my uncle, Quickdraw McChicken, to be their newest honoree. This brings attention to the pending lawsuit the family of Quickdraw McChicken has against McDonald’s Hamburgers over the ownership of the McChicken name. This name has been used, advertised, profited and maintained […]
Torsion Collider Discovery
Professor Xavier Chicken stumbled upon a mathematical theory that combines quantum physics with long division resulting in a new scientific realization of a Torsion Collider Discovery. No longer is it only CERN that can create alternate realities and ‘God Particles’. With an heavy accent as thick as Klaus Schwab, Professor X. Chicken said at his […]
Sotheby’s Auction Item
In Sotheby’s Auctions latest Catalog, page 12, you will find a mint quality 8-track tape, apparently treasured by Ottis Dewey Whitman, Jr. And who was this Ottis guy? You probably know him as Slim Whitman. Yes, Slim Whitman. A favorite artist to tens of millions of listeners from senior centers and rest home facilities throughout […]