In an attempt to be the first, Chainsaw Chicken has made arrangements to walk from San Fransisco, California to Honolulu, Hawaii… under water. We know that the popular notion is that it is simply impossible to travel that far under water. But, in the age of identifying one’s self as “whatever I need to be”, […]
Quickdraw McChicken
The Cowboy and Indians Museum in Norman, Oklahoma announced today that they have selected my uncle, Quickdraw McChicken, to be their newest honoree. This brings attention to the pending lawsuit the family of Quickdraw McChicken has against McDonald’s Hamburgers over the ownership of the McChicken name. This name has been used, advertised, profited and maintained […]
Torsion Collider Discovery
Professor Xavier Chicken stumbled upon a mathematical theory that combines quantum physics with long division resulting in a new scientific realization of a Torsion Collider Discovery. No longer is it only CERN that can create alternate realities and ‘God Particles’. With an heavy accent as thick as Klaus Schwab, Professor X. Chicken said at his […]
Sotheby’s Auction Item
In Sotheby’s Auctions latest Catalog, page 12, you will find a mint quality 8-track tape, apparently treasured by Ottis Dewey Whitman, Jr. And who was this Ottis guy? You probably know him as Slim Whitman. Yes, Slim Whitman. A favorite artist to tens of millions of listeners from senior centers and rest home facilities throughout […]
Chuck’s Groom of the Stool
With the beginning of a new Royal Dynasty, Albert Reginald Chicken III has volunteered to assume the role his family has occupied, dating back 100’s of years. What role could that be? Well… his family has been ‘Groom of the Stool’. Generational training continued over the century’s, never knowing if their specialized services would be […]
Ancient Mating Ritual
With our anniversary happening, the Mrs and I decided to reenact an age old ritual from our ancient Galliformes clan. It’s a performance of the male chicken (can we still say that?) posing over the female in a subservient position ( I’m SURE we can’t say that!). In order to actually get to do this, […]
Priceless Chicken Troll Doll
You might own one of these priceless Chainsaw Chicken Troll Dolls and not be aware. Check that junk drawer. Go threw that pile of stored stuff in your mothers attic. Search the shelves of Goodwill and tables at swap meets. Dedicate your Saturdays to going to all the garage sales where you live. But why […]
Georgia Guide Stones Blasted
The Georgia Guide Stones were demolished by a unknown party this week. What is the Georgia Guide Stones you may ask? Don’t believe what Wikipediaphile says about who paid for this monument to the New World Order. It is a statement of laws or rules they want the World to run by. Lower the world’s […]
She dumped me for Bill
My Uncle, Sussman Chicken, always seemed to have a real thing for Hillary Rodham. They were in law school together, he hung out with her at the frat parties and sock hops. Sussman even had a pet name for her. It was Hillary ‘Hot Rod’ Rodham! I know… Pretty painful. They had a pretty active […]
Chainsaw Gets 33rd Degree
In a surprise ceremony at Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd, Chainsaw was so astonished to learn that he had been awarded the honors of a 33rd Degree Freemason of the Scottish Rite. With that, comes membership in the Illuminati as well as New World Order using Build Back Better. Who would have known that the lunch […]