Date: Sept. 17, 1961 Location: Van Dyke Turnpike area, Troy, OH Incident Report: Rooster child named Chainsaw Chicken, age 5, was reported to be missing for 4 hours on this date. When finally discovered, he had no explanation at all as to where he had been except to say he saw a ‘bright light’ and […]
Easter Island Discovery
After finally obtaining permission from the government of Peru, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]
Cave Drawings Discovered
An international team of anthropologist and learned professionals were summoned to a small cavern near a hill outside the eastern boarder of France. They are there to examine a cave that has been unearthed. Seen in the cryptograms are wild animals of the day, hunted for food. There are other drawings of humans performing daily […]
New Test For Sanity
Finally, there is a ‘fool-proof’ test for your mental sanity and stability. This test was developed by Prof. Poppycock Chicken to instantly diagnose the sanity and psychosis someone may be suffering from. Start by gazing at the the stationary Blue/Yellow orbs in the rows. If they are not moving, then you are okay and have […]
Where’s Dirty Harry?
Chief Heather Thong or Fong (left), is the first SFPD female, lesbian chief of police. Harry (next) is the first trans species detective formally a duck to a chicken. Theresa Sparks (center), a former male, is president of the San Francisco Police Commission, CEO of a multi-million dollar sex toy retailer offering a new “Dirty […]
The TIGHT Jacket
At one point in Chainsaw Chickens past, he suffered from bi-polar/dis-associative/anti-social/psychotic/borderline/OCD phobia. He is seen here under armed guard, in a straight jacket within a padded cell and under chemical castration. Cranial-Rectal Inversion
Eclipse Horror
No matter how many times you hear about needing special glasses to look at the eclipsing sun… Someone thinks it doesn’t apply to him or her. My ‘brilliant’ brother-in-law, Andrew Leghorn was the one. Now blinded for life after gazing for an estimated 10 mins at the latest solar event. All I can say to […]
Second Space Walk
In March 1965, at the age of 30, Soviet cosmonaut Alexei Leonov made the first spacewalk in history, beating out rival Chainsaw Chicken on Gemini 4 by almost three months. Chainsaw did, however, release a fertilized egg into space in hopes that some Alien species might find it and realize that there are other life […]
Space Station Breach
‘Buzz’ (short for Buzzard) Chicken, nephew to my cousin. Glenn Chicken has been on the latest International Space Station orbiting Mars. He and another Astronaut from India named Curry Punjab have been on the space station for three years. Just the two of them. At least until the unfortunate accident last year when Curry electrocuted […]
Brighten The Day
Yes… Ritalin will brighten your day! It will be so bright that your brain will need extra-dark sunglasses!!! If you feel your ‘inner chicken’ needs brightened, ask your doctor for an adult size dose of Ritalin. You’re probably gonna have these Side Effects Addiction, (duh) Nervousness including agitation, AnXiEtY and irritability Trouble sleeping (when’s my […]