Editor’s Note: I asked an AI to critically review Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken based on the written themes, structure, philosophy, and public materials of the site. The essay below is its independent response. There is a particular kind of vertigo that comes from discovering something substantial that seems as though it should already be widely […]
The Doghouse is FULL
The dog sat me down today for what he called “a serious conversation.” According to him, Mrs. Chicken isn’t upset because she enjoys being upset. She’s upset because I don’t listen, I forget things she says, and apparently saying, “I thought you were just thinking out loud,” does not count as active listening. Then he […]
Happy 250th America!
Only in American can someone like me, Chainsaw Chicken, grow and thrive as well as I have. Happy 250th America!
Biden Library News
BIDEN PRESIDENTIAL LIBRARY OPENS FIRST PHASE IN DELAWARE Wilmington, Delaware — With all the news about the opening of the controversial President Obama’s library and to not be overlooked, representatives for former President Joe Biden today unveiled the first completed phase of the Biden Presidential Library deep within the majestic forests of Delaware. Nestled among […]
Reflecting Algae Cure
I noticed some government workers trying to remove the algae from the Reflecting Pool in Washington, D.C. It seemed like a lot of work, so I figured I should help. “I THINK IT WILL HELP!” I explained. The workers immediately became agitated and instructed me to stop helping. I assume they were concerned that my […]
White House UFC
WASHINGTON, D.C. — Chainsaw Chicken has announced his participation in the upcoming UFC event at the White House. According to Chainsaw, the invitation arrived several weeks ago. “I don’t generally discuss my athletic achievements,” said Chainsaw. “I prefer to let others discuss them because I don’t have any.” The historic event is expected to draw […]
Public Advisory
Officials Warn of Rising Counterfeit Chainsaw Chicken Activity The Office of Public Clarification (OPC) issued a formal statement this week following what authorities describe as a “sharp increase in counterfeit Chainsaw Chicken entities” appearing across video platforms, social media, AI image generators, and online games. The advisory warns the public about several unauthorized […]
Graduation Time
Some graduates received jewelry.Others got money.A few even drove home in brand-new cars with giant bows on the hood. Chainsaw Chicken got something else entirely. Nobody knows exactly how it happened. One minute he was standing outside the graduation hall holding his diploma like he had personally defeated higher education itself. The next minute […]
’68 Pilot-Standards & Practices
The 1968 Pilot Standards & Practices Tried to Bury By Elias Thorne, Media Historian | May 13, 2026 In the late ’60s, television was drowning in “monster-coms.” But internal memos from a defunct CBS production wing reveal one attempt so fundamentally unsettling it was scrubbed from the record before a single episode aired. The project, […]
The Other Side of the Mask
A companion to “The Man Behind the Mask“ The preceding review offers a perceptive analysis of the artistic core of Adventures of Chainsaw Chicken — its unwavering sincerity, deadpan visual language, layered satire, and long-term creative vision. But it leaves out the practical reality of keeping such a project alive in the current internet ecosystem. […]
Cinco – NO-NO
When it was suggested that the hat might not be appropriate,Chainsaw explained that it had already been cleared. He had seen Eli Wallach wear it.He had seen Kurt Russell wear it. Both were permitted to continue. He also noted that Cinco de Mayo had aligned with Taco Tuesday. He assumed this was not accidental. The […]