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Chicken FLASHBACK May 2019

Chicken  FLASHBACK  May 2019

My New ‘Chick Magnet’ I ordered a Chick Magnet from the ads you see on Facebook. It arrived with a Chinese postmark. It is so strong, I finally had to leave it in the other room just to take a break. Let’s see. Who is number 22? NOW SERVING NUMBER 22!. My work never ends! […]

A.O.C. Stole Her Idea!

A.O.C. Stole Her Idea!

It was so embarrassing for Mrs. Chicken. She was really trying to make a very important point. A message to everyone that will notice her dress. Maybe even some press. She wanted to people know that vegetarians have other options rather than chickens, our relatives, to have for meat. Here’s pork, many different kinds of […]

Biden Adjustments

Biden Adjustments

Darth Chicken has returned to the Oval Office to make some adjustments and fine tuning. “just a small adjustment with this tiny dial… THERE! Now! That should shorten the lag time down between questions and answers… Okay, now for the sleepiness during the day. I am turning up the alertness throttle stop. Almost there… ahhhh…DONE! […]

Get your FAKE chicken!

Get your FAKE chicken!

Fake Chicken? Yes… Chicken made from plant protein. MMmm mm Good! It’s so good, Chainsaw has dedicated all his free time to promote the alternative of using fake chicken rather than slaughtering his family members. ” We have to do something about the systematic extermination of all those that look like me. Next we have […]

Treasure Found

Treasure Found

  What a good find!  I have been looking for this 45 since 1963. It’s called “Chicken Feed” performed by ‘Bent Fabric and his piano’. Now you say, “who’s that???”  Some will remember his hit “Alley Cat“, a tune that may be more familiar by hearing than knowing the title. ‘Chicken Feed’ is a record […]

Keep Calm Statue

Keep Calm Statue

This statue was brought to Britain 119 years ago. It was removed from display at Cambridge University in 2006 over a ‘racism’ claim. The bronze cockerel, was known as the Okukor. IN 2006, the College’s student union passed a motion. They insisted it should be returned to present day Nigeria after they claimed British troops […]

First Electric Cargo Ship

First Electric Cargo Ship

News arrived that great Uncle Henry Morgan Chicken has been selected to skipper the first, all electric cargo ship. When asked about this privilege, Captain Henry simply said “Arrrrrr, Supposed to be a great honorrrrr!” his Nantucket accent in full display. The interview continued, “So how long have you been a ships captain? Henry answered […]

New Mustache

New Mustache

The other day I was digging around in my underwear drawer trying to find a special pair I had for anniversary and birthday occasions. I kept pulling the drawer out further and further, but hey were gone. One can only speculate as to where they ended up. However, I did find something I had completely […]

String Puller Identified

String Puller Identified

An accidental image was captured on a closed circuit secure broadcast to other figure-heads and supposed leaders within the New World Order. There, to those who were able to see the secret image witness, was the answer that so many people who ask the question. “Who is really pulling the strings behind Biden”? When the […]

Hair sniffing isn’t so bad

Hair sniffing isn’t so bad

For the last several years we’ve all been hearing about certain executives that we see on the news each night being accused of hair sniffing young women. I must admit, at first it did not sound appealing to me at all. Running around sniffing the hair of pre-teen and teens with some form of delight. […]

New “Woke Wash”

New “Woke Wash”

Have you noticed a sudden decrease in your social woke-ism? Have others noticed your lack of being sufficiently woke, as well? Do you know someone, such as your spouse, parent or neighbor that are secretly conservatives or even members of that evil political party here in the USA, that really needs to be ‘immersed’ in […]

Successful Dating

Successful Dating

Dating can be very tricky now days. I see the very high frustration level on the other men’s faces, siting alone as I am in the back corner booth with my posse. While others worry about swipe right or left with online dating, I have learned what really works and keeps the ladies coming back, […]

Ghani hides in our home

Ghani hides in our home

“A warm welcome to you Mr. Ghani”,  Mrs. Chicken said to the ex-president of Afghanistan as he exited his limo. “Salam alaikum” Chainsaw  proclaimed, sweeping his palm to his chest and bowing some. Ghani swooped past Chainsaw, checking over his shoulder left and right. He asks, “Any press around here? I have been trying to […]

Gordon Ramsay Questioned

Gordon Ramsay Questioned

The investigation into the series of missing members of Chainsaw Chicken’s family had a break though moment when Gordon Ramsay’s low rated show “Uncommon Dishes” showed a recipe for an authentic Chicken Pot Pie. “We’ve been loosing 8 to 12 young and vibrant chickens each evening with no clues as to what has been happening” […]

Spies Like Us

Spies Like Us

With the fall of Afghanistan and the debacle of  Hamid Karzai International Airport in Kabul, Chainsaw Chicken has been reactivated and sent in as a deep undercover spy. His mission? To get in tight with the leadership of the Taliban network to be the eyes and ears of the ‘over the horizon‘ capabilities the Washington […]

Ok… You Win

Ok… You Win

I was watching some old episodes of “Strange Love” the other night when all of a sudden I fell out of my lazy-boy. There was my crazy Uncle Sebastian flashing open his raincoat to a woman that looked like his widowed next-door neighbor lady, who was opening her coat, as well. Looks like a Mexican […]

Changing, Mrs. Chicken?

Changing, Mrs. Chicken?

Things are really changing around our coop. Mrs. Chicken has me alarmed. First she goes out and gets new hair-do. Then, she joins a Palatines class. Now, by themselves, these are fine and I welcome her desires to improve herself, although I always felt she was perfect just the way she was. Yet, more things […]

Plans for Biden Library

Plans for Biden Library

The final plans for the Biden Presidential Library were selected today. The winner of the contract went to the Nation-wide Architectural firm of ‘Oliver, William and Murphy’, headquartered in Talahoochie, Delaware. “We have a few obstacles to overcome”, outlined the firms President, Mr. Oliver. “First, is with the lack of availability to obtain the needed […]

“Chicken Hawk” captured

“Chicken Hawk” captured

The assassin-spy known as “Carlos the Chicken Hawk” has finally been captured. He was visiting some friends through the fence at the Foster Farms retention area where he was apprehended. He initially identifying himself a someone name Bruce Biden, a close cousin to President Biden. It was later learned that he was actually Carlos Chicken. […]