When I saw the half-time at the 2021 Super Bowl, I got chills. My body began to shake and shutter. I was instantly taken back to my P.E. class in the 7th grade. Oh… I feel nauseous! I remember it like it was the day before yesterday! My P.E. class was a mix of 7th, […]
In Mourning
Again, no one seems to care. Where are the Hollywood celebrities? The Telethons? The donation web sites? The Justice Department, even PETA or the ASPCA? I’ve given up on the Southern Poverty Law School, for obvious reasons. Millions upon millions of my fellow chickens have sacrificed their wings for this commercialize cultural event. As we […]
Replacing Newsom
After his announcement of offering to replace the soon to be recalled Gavin Newsom, Governor of California, Chainsaw Chicken faced the press who wanted to ask him about the reasons he is running. “Why are you running?” asked a reporter from the Times. Chainsaw answered ““I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to […]
Walk and Chew Gum
It seems what we constantly hear is that people can “Walk and chew gum at the same time” appears to not be a universal truth. Here at Chainsaw Chicken International – LTD, the hallway security camera caught one of our senior executives demonstrating the difficulty of the experience. Our corporation has made several requests for […]
Search and Destroy
Chainsaw Chicken has accepted the task no one seems willing to do anything about. He has decided to take on those damn SPAM CALLERS with orders to ‘search and destroy’. Using the method practiced in the Vietnam war when we were actually trying to win, he is planning on daily interdiction raids as well as […]
We Need Unity
Just as our fearless leader the President stated, the battle between chickens and turkeys have been extreme. But in one of the most beautiful gestures seen by modern man, Chainsaw Chicken, representing all chickens, has stated that “We must unite”. He said this and released a soft white dove gripping an olive branch, with an […]
Not DC or Marvel
CNN HEROS… A name that will live on in infamy. We’re not talking about D.C. or Marvel, we’re talking about CNN! And now, Brian Stelter has apparently joined the team to fight injustice and wrong-doers everywhere (within the United States). With his powers of observing and identifying those that spread rumors and unsubstantiated trues, I […]
Flocking to Oregon
As of Feb 1st, Oregon has done something to solve the tourism issue. They legalize hard drugs! While only small amounts of drugs are decriminalized, such as less than 1 gram of heroin or MDMA; 2 grams of cocaine or methamphetamine; 12 grams of psilocybin mushrooms; and 40 doses of LSD, oxycodone or methadone, there […]
Why– I outta!!!
Action on the court as LaBron James got his hind parts handed to him by Mrs. Chicken. She started givin’ him ‘what for’ with the way he was blaming everyone on and off the court for all that was happening. LaBron bowed up and called Mrs. Chicken the ‘B’ word and that was it! Then […]
Rosemary’s REAL Baby
What did Rosemary actually see? When Roman Polanski was looking for the ideal image Rosemary would see when she finally gazed into the baby’s crib, they wanted something that would generate pure spontaneous fright and astonishment. Day after day they tried to generate the certain look Roman wanted. They tried grotesque and gassly figures of […]
Marvel Studios Negotiating
While the super hero movie industry is still well within the refractory period from their last major release of “End Game”, there is a search for new super heroes to jump in and pump up the genre. (I know, enough with the innuendos) With the luke warn acceptance of “Wanda Vision“, a series that takes […]
Schiff Gets Probed
Not probed by Aliens from outer space but from Federal Agents. ‘FEDS Probe Adam Schiff Dressed like Egyptian at Bizarre “Sacrifice” Parties at Ed Buck’s Meth Mansion.’ Yup! That’s the headline. But Chainsaw said “It was nothing like that at all. We are just Shriner’s. We were having a local Shriner’s annual meeting”, pausing… his […]
New Covid Test
Following the lead from Communist China, the Biden administration and many West and East Coast States are considering implementing the new Anal Covid Test. Imagine the lines? My neighbor from the coop down the road and his wife demonstrated the technical process for this sampling. Seen here, Jane McChicken is about to insert this special […]