With our anniversary happening, the Mrs and I decided to reenact an age old ritual from our ancient Galliformes clan. It’s a performance of the male chicken (can we still say that?) posing over the female in a subservient position ( I’m SURE we can’t say that!). In order to actually get to do this, […]
Where’s Grandma Vodka?
‘Chicken Magazine’ Cover
Now, Chainsaw Chicken has joined the ranks of Christie Brinkley, Chrissy Teigen, Farrah Fawcett and Alfred E. Newman as successful magazine cover models. Check the news stands for this months issue of ‘Chickens Magazine’. There you will find Chainsaw enjoying a plate full of morning fresh eggs. From this exposure big things have been happening. […]
Chicken Attracted Person
Balenciaga has formally apologized for an advertising campaign featuring Chicken abduction for bondage. The new name for this bestiality is ‘Chicken Attracted Person’. The response from the news and media has been next to nothing. It’s been postulated that the lack of coverage is the result of sounding like the are defending Chicken Attracted People […]
“Oh the humanity of it all”
Ever have a loose tooth and wiggling it made it hurt so good? Or scratching a bite that you know you are gonna make things worse but it feels so right? That’s the way I feel about Hilary being photographed wearing one of my Chainsaw Chicken baseball caps. Thanks for the notoriety of wearing my […]
Priceless Chicken Troll Doll
You might own one of these priceless Chainsaw Chicken Troll Dolls and not be aware. Check that junk drawer. Go threw that pile of stored stuff in your mothers attic. Search the shelves of Goodwill and tables at swap meets. Dedicate your Saturdays to going to all the garage sales where you live. But why […]
Social Media Influencer
In the manner of other great social media influencers, Chainsaw has begun his campaigns to persuade you to consider products you might not actually need. Mimicking the routine of notable influencers such as the infamous Khloé Kardashian, Dixie D’Amelio, and the special David Hogg, Chainsaw invites you to follow his revaluations on the social sites […]
Chicken-Human Clone
A stunning clandestine video was secreted out today of a chicken-human clone strutting around a laboratory grounds. The clones handlers can be seen guiding and protecting this one of a kind experiment. Questions started being asked. “Was this another project from a Wuhan lab?” “Is this an offspring from some alien coupling with a ‘birthing […]
Georgia Guide Stones Blasted
The Georgia Guide Stones were demolished by a unknown party this week. What is the Georgia Guide Stones you may ask? Don’t believe what Wikipediaphile says about who paid for this monument to the New World Order. It is a statement of laws or rules they want the World to run by. Lower the world’s […]
Liberal World Order Leader
Liberal world order revealed. Brian Deese, a political adviser serving under President Joe Biden, said the quiet part out loud. Something that was treated as either a conspiracy or a future event in a movie. But no. It is here. How do we know? The administration admitted it. But who is the leader of this […]
The Call…
I got….The Call… There I was, simply making a box of macaroni and cheese for lunch. Unexpectedly, the phone rang. I put down my wooden spoon and turned down the heat to bring my noodles to simmer for the perfect al dente . I reached over the counter and picked up the receiver. “Hello?…” I […]
Patient Zero Monkeypox
The World Health Organization believes they have identified the primary vector showing patient zero with monkeypox in the latest outbreak. Sergey ‘Serg’ Chicken is seen here with his long time companion monkey named ‘Cheesecake’ standing in front of the original headquarters of Google. At that time, Google was a struggling vegetable and fruit store with […]
Put on Bread & Water
The Mrs. put me on bread & water again. I know, I know… She probably feels she was entitled to do it. And I may have actually earned it but who’s to say? I might submit that it is a matter of point of view. Here are MY facts. All I did was go next […]
Freud’s Aura Sculpted
Art and science grew greatly after the turn of 1900’s. Both of these worlds would seem to develop new styles or themes that others might harness and develop. Rarely did the two collide. One of the few examples was when Oscar Chicken was able to convince Sigmund Freud to have his Aura sculpted subtractively. In […]
Classic Chicken Theater
Welcome to Classic Chicken Theater Playhouse. This organization was founded by honored and awarded namesake, Chainsaw Chicken, to help others learn and shape their craft of classical acting. Chainsaw’s primary belief is that the actors need to take generally known plays and add challenges to the overall theme. All plays are done with the players […]
New Defendant in Jan 6 Investigation
Today the January 6th committee of the House of Representatives announced unofficially that their investigation is now adding Chainsaw Chicken to their list of potential defendants to be subpoenaed. A clerk who wished to remain anonymous stated that “While we know he was not in the Capitol, not in the rally, not in the D.C. […]
Final Sentiments
Uncle Cluck’s life ended with a parting gesture expressing his final sentiments. Final services were held at Kwaa Loon Kitchen, on south Broadway Street in downtown. Attendance was limited to two tables each seating four. No family members were allowed to attend because of local health codes. Additionally, there was a genuine fear of ‘copy […]
Chicken & Real Star Soup
Campbell’s Soup has selected Chainsaw Chicken to be the new label icon for the longtime favorite product “Chicken & Stars”. “I’m simply the best spokes person they could ever find” said Chainsaw. “I’m a chicken and I am a REAL star”. No one can debate either point!” The soup executives could not agree more. They […]
She dumped me for Bill
My Uncle, Sussman Chicken, always seemed to have a real thing for Hillary Rodham. They were in law school together, he hung out with her at the frat parties and sock hops. Sussman even had a pet name for her. It was Hillary ‘Hot Rod’ Rodham! I know… Pretty painful. They had a pretty active […]
Chainsaw Joins Ukraine
Flying several sorties each day, he concentrated on self-selected targets including a laxative factory and a couscous storehouse in Russian territory. Twice he has played ‘chicken’ with enemy jets, always winning. Incidentally, the plane is equipped with many secret compartments to bring back “the BIG Guy’s 10%” from Ukrainian investments when he returns back to […]