Here’s a clean ladder version: Layer 1 — The gag – What you think this isImmediate humor. Visual or verbal punchline. Layer 2 — Irony – Why it feels slightly wrongSituation contradicts expectation. Layer 3 — Social satire – Oh this is about me?Commentary on behavior, trends, institutions. Layer 4 — Meta satire – Structure […]
My New Neighbor
The other day I decided I would give Mrs. Chicken a small surprise and start dinner while she was out with her friends doing whatever wives do when they get together. “What should I make?” I asked myself. I grabbed some of my cookbooks and started leafing through them. Nothing seemed to strike me. Oh […]
Convenient Removal Process
Chainsaw Chicken stood at the mailbox holding a thick envelope marked OFFICIAL ACTION. He had received many such letters over the years.Some accused him of confusion.Some accused him of tone.One objected to the emotional impact of a coupon. He placed the envelope on the kitchen table beside his coffee and switched on the television. There, […]
It must be Pareidolia
Chainsaw Chicken stood before the bathroom mirror, where many unnecessary mysteries preferred to gather. The fluorescent light buzzed overhead with institutional confidence. The sink was crowded with toothpaste, soap, and a toothbrush that had seen things. In the glass stood a man. He wore Chainsaw’s jacket. He carried Chainsaw’s posture. He possessed the same unmistakable […]
I Needed More E-E-A-T?
I was informed by modern experts that my problem was not quality, originality, endurance, or surviving online longer than many of today’s “thought leaders” have been alive. No. My problem was E-E-A-T. Experience. Expertise. Authoritativeness. Trustworthiness. Amazing. For years I believed experience meant actually doing something. Apparently it now means having a headshot beside a […]
Ebay Fiasco
How many years have people been saying, “I’ll just put it on eBay and sell it”? For a long time, it sounded simple. It became so popular there were even real brick-and-mortar stores that would take your item, list it, sell it, and hand you the money after their cut. That’s how easy it seemed. […]
Chainsaw Chicken Franchise
Chainsaw Chicken, CEO of Chainsaw’s Chicken Burgers, LLC—a sub-division of Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd—stood outside his newest location and studied it. It was clean, bright, and efficient, set between a laundromat that never seemed to finish and a taxidermy shop specializing in exotic pets. Above it all, a giant chicken head in sunglasses faced the […]
Therapist Answering Service
I called my therapist to change my appointment time. He must have been out to lunch or something. Instead, I got his service… “Hello. You’ve reached the Mental Health Hotline.If you are obsessive compulsive… press 1. Repeatedly.If you are codependent… have someone press 2 for you.If you have multiple personalities… press 3, 4, 5, and […]
The Philosophy of Chainsaw
It finally happened. My degree arrived. I answered a classified ad in the National Enquirer, and now—after only a modest processing fee and a brief period of self-reflection—I hold a PhD in Philosophy from the College of Medical Stuff, located on the island of Minor Tounguilla in the Caribbean. It is recognized in many counties […]
Before He Knew
There was a time—long before anyone used words like condition or episode—when the house felt complete in a way that didn’t need explaining. Mornings came in soft through the curtains. The kind of light that didn’t demand anything, just settled in and made everything look like it belonged. She would sit with them on the […]
The Fourth Conflict
The fundamentals of conflict are well established: Man against manMan against GodMan against himself There is now a fourth. Chainsaw against LOGIC