In a somewhat predictable move today, the largest minority share holders of Disney stock (DIS) have hired Dr. DeBakie Chicken to manage a controversial move. What move? It seems that this minority block has persuaded a Disney employee to remove the frozen head of Walt Disney from the cryogenic vault below Disneyland where the founders […]
The last known Yhicken
The last known Yhicken Indian, ‘Fri’ was also claimed to be the last “wild” Native American Poultry. A survivor of the 1976 Three Processors Massacre. He was found alone near the processing plant in White Water, Arkansas in 1981. He was on the verge of death. In August of that year, Fri was placed under […]
NEW: Barn Yard Flakes
From Compost Cereals, the makers of ‘Colon Blow’, now brings you a new breakfast treat called ‘Barn Yard Flakes’. Yes… You too can get that daily need of dried residue from our corporate facilities. Scrape up a heaping bowl of new ‘Barn Yard Flakes’ breakfast cereal, sit back and work your way threw all the […]
Secret Decoder Ring
Ever notice how confusing and disconnected some political people can be in their speeches and press conferences? I tried and tried to really understand their statements. I would take the key sentence and diagram it on a white board so I could get the full meaning of what was being expressed. But alas, I just […]
You Stupid Son of a Bitch!
“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly […]
Am I now Poly?
I am now in a Polyamory relationship. I know. I am so lucky! What is Polyamory? Well, ‘poly’ is an umbrella term for all forms of ethical, consensual, and loving non-monogamy, and for a false teeth adheasive. And ‘amory’ can be used to refer to a place where troops store their weapons. In this case […]
Pre-Havana Syndrome
Chainsaw was suffering from a typical headache. He had them most of his life. As he leaned back in his easy chair and tried to relax, his thoughts went back to that old black and white T.V. commercial for Anacin Aspirin. He remembered watching them as a kid always seeing it while watching “Voyage to […]
Rescue Fortune Cookie
Have you seen this on the news? A rash of fortune cookies with a distressing message hidden inside. Hundreds of Chinese restaurants have tried to explain to their customers that this message must be some kind of joke. But the International Human Rights Commission thinks that it’s no joke. “When a customer at a restaurant […]
Like my Christmas lights?
Hey! How they hangin’? I’m talkin’ about my Christmas lights? They look so much better with the lights off inside my house. I kinda like the inside lights off at night. I can watch the neighbors house or the people strolling down the sidewalk. It’s as though I am invisible. They might be creeped out […]
The transcendental chicken
♫ Hare Krishna ♫ Hare Krishna ♫ Krishna, Krishna ♫ Hare Hare… ‘Ching’ sounded the finger cymbals at the end of the chant. Mahavishnu Chicken closed his eyes, breathed in the incense smoke of sandalwood and chanted “Gunga galunga… Gunga, gunga-galunga”. ‘Ching-Ching” again chimed the cymbals. Mahavishnu Chicken continued to chant with expectations of connecting […]