I got….The Call… There I was, simply making a box of macaroni and cheese for lunch. Unexpectedly, the phone rang. I put down my wooden spoon and turned down the heat to bring my noodles to simmer for the perfect al dente . I reached over the counter and picked up the receiver. “Hello?…” I […]
Patient Zero Monkeypox
The World Health Organization believes they have identified the primary vector showing patient zero with monkeypox in the latest outbreak. Sergey ‘Serg’ Chicken is seen here with his long time companion monkey named ‘Cheesecake’ standing in front of the original headquarters of Google. At that time, Google was a struggling vegetable and fruit store with […]
Put on Bread & Water
The Mrs. put me on bread & water again. I know, I know… She probably feels she was entitled to do it. And I may have actually earned it but who’s to say? I might submit that it is a matter of point of view. Here are MY facts. All I did was go next […]
Freud’s Aura Sculpted
Art and science grew greatly after the turn of 1900’s. Both of these worlds would seem to develop new styles or themes that others might harness and develop. Rarely did the two collide. One of the few examples was when Oscar Chicken was able to convince Sigmund Freud to have his Aura sculpted subtractively. In […]
Classic Chicken Theater
Welcome to Classic Chicken Theater Playhouse. This organization was founded by honored and awarded namesake, Chainsaw Chicken, to help others learn and shape their craft of classical acting. Chainsaw’s primary belief is that the actors need to take generally known plays and add challenges to the overall theme. All plays are done with the players […]
New Defendant in Jan 6 Investigation
Today the January 6th committee of the House of Representatives announced unofficially that their investigation is now adding Chainsaw Chicken to their list of potential defendants to be subpoenaed. A clerk who wished to remain anonymous stated that “While we know he was not in the Capitol, not in the rally, not in the D.C. […]
Final Sentiments
Uncle Cluck’s life ended with a parting gesture expressing his final sentiments. Final services were held at Kwaa Loon Kitchen, on south Broadway Street in downtown. Attendance was limited to two tables each seating four. No family members were allowed to attend because of local health codes. Additionally, there was a genuine fear of ‘copy […]
Chicken & Real Star Soup
Campbell’s Soup has selected Chainsaw Chicken to be the new label icon for the longtime favorite product “Chicken & Stars”. “I’m simply the best spokes person they could ever find” said Chainsaw. “I’m a chicken and I am a REAL star”. No one can debate either point!” The soup executives could not agree more. They […]
She dumped me for Bill
My Uncle, Sussman Chicken, always seemed to have a real thing for Hillary Rodham. They were in law school together, he hung out with her at the frat parties and sock hops. Sussman even had a pet name for her. It was Hillary ‘Hot Rod’ Rodham! I know… Pretty painful. They had a pretty active […]
Chainsaw Joins Ukraine
Flying several sorties each day, he concentrated on self-selected targets including a laxative factory and a couscous storehouse in Russian territory. Twice he has played ‘chicken’ with enemy jets, always winning. Incidentally, the plane is equipped with many secret compartments to bring back “the BIG Guy’s 10%” from Ukrainian investments when he returns back to […]