
People keep asking if KFC copied me.
I don’t know.
But I do know this:
I had a chainsaw before KFC put one on a drumstick.
Therefore, I invented fried chicken.
That’s how patents work.
I looked it up.
If someone combines two things, the person who had one of the things first automatically owns both.
For example, if I taped a toaster to a horse, I would own all horses and all toasters.
The government may disagree, but government employees have disagreed with me before.
Usually right before security arrives.
So I would like to thank KFC for publicly recognizing my ownership of fried chicken.
I will allow them to continue selling it.
For now.