Announcing the airline of the future. It’s named “LuftChicken”. But you may be asking yourself, “Why would anyone want to start up an airline right now with the restrictions and low traffic volume?”… Good question. Let’s ask the founder of this airline. It seems that he is piloting his maiden flight. We will try to […]
Chinese New Year is here!
The White House, Senators, Members of Congress, Executives of Big Business, BIG Tech and New World Order are unified in the celebration of the Chinese New Year. This ’emerging’ country celebrates it each year. Chinese New Year also called Spring Festival or the Lunar New Year, is the festival that celebrates the beginning of a […]
New Green Energy Update
Chainsaw Chicken International-LTD, has done it again! Chainsaw Chicken, the CEO and President announced that they have successfully created an untapped energy stream. “It came to me when I was remembering something I’d heard so many people say… He’d be spinning in his grave if he knew what was happening”. Chainsaw has created a mechanical […]
Moose? Why not Mine?
I’m sure you’ve heard about items made from Moose excrement, as well as quail and other critters where they fashion their droppings into other cute or decorative things. I had to ask myself, “Why not do the same?” Now I would like to offer some items made from my poop. Remember, even though a big […]
Unwanted Attention
With the rapid and overwhelming popularity of Chainsaw Chicken emerging throughout the Western World, there are bound to be imposters, fakes, impersonators, body doubles, doppelgangers, clones and mimics. Here is an example that simply numbs the mind. Chainsaw stated, when viewing this photo, “OMG! I’d never wear a partial grass skirt while doing this. How […]
New Foods to Eat
Oh Yum! Look what’s coming! Seems that since the start of 2019, customers of some supermarket chain called Kaufland have had the choice between garlic and herb flavored mealworms, or buffalo worms with hints of sour cream and onion. Hmmmm… my mouth is watering, from bile. And then there’s foods made from insects, such as […]
Chainsaw Banned
“I’m in good company I guess”, said Chainsaw Chicken when he was informed that all his social media has been blocked. “Check it out, just try to find me. you can’t on Facebook, Facebook Messenger, Twitter, Instagram, MeWe, Tumbler, Stumble, Trip and Fall, Google, Yahoo, My Space, WhatsApp , TicTok, Zoom, WeChat, QQ, Douyin, Sina […]
Tom Buys Chickens
Tom Cruise has shelled out “huge sums” for two high-tech robots to enforce coronavirus safety protocols on the set of “Mission: Impossible 7” – and also administer spot tests to the crew, according to a report. These robots were purchased from ArmorGallus, LLC (a sub-division of Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd.). These are non-lethal versions of […]
New Sponsorship
It is with pride that Chainsaw Chicken announces that he has been selected to be the on screen and on web video spokesman- – – ah spokesperson? No it would be , ah… spokes guy, Naw… Wrong pronoun. How about just representative? Ok… Again It is with pride… wait… can I say pride? That conjures […]
Biden wants new secretary
President elect Joe Biden has suggested that his cabinet also include a new secretary position for the Department of Theology. Overseeing lessons preached in all major religions, when they finally are allowed to open because of the Covid threat. His choice will be Aleister Henly Crowley. One of the last members of the Thelema religion. […]
Mandalorian Replacement
With the massive interest in the “baby yoda” character from the popular Star Wars spin-off, “The Mandalorian”, production of Season 3 was halted when an injunction was filed again Disney by the trustees of the muppet creators, Frank Oz Trust Corp because of alleged copyright infringement. Their point in the suit is that “Star Wars/Disney […]
New Chicken Part Offered
Seems KFC (Kentucky Fried Cousins) is offering a new chicken part to customers. Now we need to try to identify it. It has me baffled. It’s not a chicken beak, or chicken feet like those people in Asia seem to like, so what is it? I heard a suggestion that it was the last part […]
Uber Eats Driver
With all the restrictions about doing this or that BUT you can still order your greasy tacos or that meatball sub by using Uber Eats. And what do you get using this COVID leveraged service? You get a cold meal that has been waiting in the fast food restaurants counter for driver like Chainsaw to […]
Parking Lots Chicken Stand
As you cruise through the Midwest you might see a new item that is popping up. Launching now is Chainsaw Chicken Roadside Shops. That’s right. Showing at Walmart parking lots, Swap meets and the occasional wide spots in the road, you may find Fred Gunar with his grand son Lunar Gunar. They set up and […]
It’s A Girl! Congrats!
No… Not mine… Really. Well… maybe. Ahhhh… Look at the sweet thing. She has her father’s nose and her mother’s eye’s! She is adorable. Really…! Stunning! That’s what you get for ruining Facebook and making it into a money pit! Look for their MySpace page for more info. You might say I got my revenge. […]
He Made His Bones
“You’s guys must respect his works and acheivemental accolades” piped Sonny-Boys as they vacationed at the Florida shore. “How’s ya’s thunk he earns his ‘nick’?… ‘Chainsaw’? He buzzed them undesirables into breakfast sausage.” The Capo’s all posed for a remembrance photo. Seen on the far left is Errol “The horse” (he owns a stable I […]
Google Self-Driving Car
Chainsaw Chicken was selected as an honorary member to receive the new Google Self-Driving car. “It was such a surprise to open the front door and see this parked in front of my coop. I simply don’t have a way to express my thanks. I guess this means I don’t need to go through the […]
A refund before we go
Last Friday, as I was on my way out to go clubbing with Caitlin Jenner, I had to swing by Walmart to take back an item. When I got up to the agent she asked for the item to be refunded. I had a slice of pizza in the bag from one of their pre-made […]
Yugo Limo for Hire
Always ready to take advantage of a deal when it rolls around, Chainsaw has purchased this very hard to find and extremely unique Yugo custom limousine from a Croatian car dealer. “There’s row after row of seating. It’s very special. Just in time for prom and the Wine tours. I only wish there would have […]
Chainsaw Musk
Before the Tesla Electric Cars, before the space ships and colonizing Mars concepts, before Zip2, before X.com (both household business names, right?) there was Chainsaw Musk. He’s the grand uncle of Elon. He created the first car that ran on something other than petroleum or steam. When he was in South Africa he discovered one […]