There I was. Just relaxing in my chair after a long day of doing things, being at places, seeing specific people, when Mrs. Chicken approaches me without saying a word. I look up at her and I smile, thinking about how fortunate I am to have found such a wonderful life partner. Someone who seemed […]
Celebrating Our New Brewery
Have you heard the news? Chainsaw Chicken, along with his many relatives, have opened a new brewery launching their line of beer called Chicken Brew. “It’s a new twist on the heavily consumed beverage market in North America” states Chainsaw. He continues, “After the people’s burden with scare tactics of Covid, H1N1 Swine Flu, Chicken […]
Push Button Husband
Mrs. Chicken sighed the way only a long-suffering spouse can. “You know, Chainsaw, living with you is like living with one of those new gadgets.” I perked up. “High-tech? Advanced? A marvel of modern design?” She gave me that flat stare over her glasses.“No. Tap-and-go. Push button. That’s it. There’s no mystery left. You’re predictable. […]
Pesky Impersonator
I am at my breaking point. It’s getting so that I can’t go anywhere without seeing people that are trying to steal my identity, pretending to be me. Impostors, impersonators, fakes like stolen valor of sorts. Just last weekend, I was at the park with Mrs. Chicken along with my nieces and nephews, Slomo, Sluggo, […]
Cryptophasia
My twin brother Buzzsaw and I are some of the best known identical twins continuing to use Cryptophasia. What is that? Cryptophasia is that “secret language” that twins can develop to speak to each other from when they begin to speak. It’s words no one else can understand. But how does it happen? While some […]
Bank Robbery Gone Wrong
There I was, at the window, making a deposit to my account at the Chainsaw Chicken International, Ltd credit union, when two masked men came in to rob the bank. It was so frightful! One of the desperadoes stood right behind me! His gun pointed at employees. He shouted “This is a robbery! Everyone do […]
Egg-Laying Chicken for Rent
“Yo homie! You be lookin’ for some eggs? My posse got chew covered! “My’man… Take a gander at my stable and pick what Lay-dee you can use. You gets to keep all the little hard-shelled juniors she puts in your crib! “Step off if you can’t pay for the gain but stay to play if […]
The Feel of Vinyl
I’m not sure if Mrs. Chicken is trying have fun with me or if she’s serious. She talked me into wearing one of these all-over vinyl suit, mask and all. I have trouble breathing and it is hot. I sweat like the dickens when I wear it. She says she thinks I look like a […]
I feel better now
I really do feel better now. Just had my last ECT treatment. The full medical name is Electroconvulsive therapy. Things seem so much clearer now. Why did I ever question things like the elections, vaccinations, origins of covid, the ‘laptop from hell’ and soy being put in everything? Sure, I was a little obsessive about […]
A New Pecking Order
You’d think that Chainsaw Chicken lived at the 118th Congress. There’s this interloper that has decided to roost in his place and he has challenged Chainsaw in the pecking order. They’ve gone back and forth as leader of the house 15 times! He needs Mrs. Chicken to step in. Just hope she doesn’t vote ‘present’.