In an attempt to be the first, Chainsaw Chicken has made arrangements to walk from San Fransisco, California to Honolulu, Hawaii… under water. We know that the popular notion is that it is simply impossible to travel that far under water. But, in the age of identifying one’s self as “whatever I need to be”, […]
Dog Attacks Family
It seems that tragedy is always standing arms length from the Chainsaw Chicken family. Last weekend was no exception. As the family enjoyed a simple picnic at a local park, little did they know that a paralyzing event was about to happen. As the family enjoyed their pickle loaf sandwiches and basked in the warm […]
Turkey Day Joke
Ancient Mating Ritual
With our anniversary happening, the Mrs and I decided to reenact an age old ritual from our ancient Galliformes clan. It’s a performance of the male chicken (can we still say that?) posing over the female in a subservient position ( I’m SURE we can’t say that!). In order to actually get to do this, […]
Put on Bread & Water
The Mrs. put me on bread & water again. I know, I know… She probably feels she was entitled to do it. And I may have actually earned it but who’s to say? I might submit that it is a matter of point of view. Here are MY facts. All I did was go next […]
Final Sentiments
Uncle Cluck’s life ended with a parting gesture expressing his final sentiments. Final services were held at Kwaa Loon Kitchen, on south Broadway Street in downtown. Attendance was limited to two tables each seating four. No family members were allowed to attend because of local health codes. Additionally, there was a genuine fear of ‘copy […]
I am a Triplet
I am a Triplet. I know. We all look identical because we are. You can really tell we’re brothers. That’s me on the left. That’s Ichabod on the right. He’s a life coach. Aloysius is in the center. He’s the local MMA featherweight Champion. I like to think that I’m the ladies man but the […]
Chicken Crime Scene?
The reporters heard the call over the police band radios. “We have a possible 10-54d (Possible dead body) at the end of Main street on the west side. Please 10-55d (Send coroner) to the location.” Within minutes there was a pool of of media vultures taking picture of my poor friend Roscoe Pullet. He was […]
Wedded Bliss
The day finally arrived. Where you in attendance? It was the blessed wedding of Scooter and Skippy. They are cousins of mine from opposite sides of the family. They met at a family birthday for Grandma ‘Bubbles’ Chicken and were instantly attracted to each other. So much so that twice they were told to “knock […]
10 car pile-up
Last week, I was driving along on the Pasadena freeway. I took the exit at Pico Boulevard and was moving well with traffic. I had my tunes playing and I was in the groove. All of a sudden the station played some Bobby Goldsboro song and I just had to change the dial. I reached […]