I always thought Miss Nancy never ‘smacked wise’ to my Romper Room Romance. I was a crafty devil with little Sara Leghorn. She was my very first, real life girlfriend. Our days on Romper Room went by with just a wiz of time. She sit there all pretty and calm. I would keep turning my […]
Genocide Games Zamboni
Have you been watching the Genocide Olympic Games from Beijing? Have you noticed how smooth and flawless the ice is? After all those skaters from hockey or ice dancing cutting grooves it can be pretty tricky for the competitors. They don’t show it much on the coverage but you should know that it’s Chainsaw Chicken […]
Chicken Crime Scene?
The reporters heard the call over the police band radios. “We have a possible 10-54d (Possible dead body) at the end of Main street on the west side. Please 10-55d (Send coroner) to the location.” Within minutes there was a pool of of media vultures taking picture of my poor friend Roscoe Pullet. He was […]
Trans Antarctic Tour Stalled
You may have seen this on the evening news but here is an update. The ‘Trans Antarctic Tour’ has run into some difficulty on it trek to visit the many manned weather stations in the antarctic. “It seems that our driver ran across an ice crevasse stranding the tracked snow vehicle in a precarious position” […]
Wedded Bliss
The day finally arrived. Where you in attendance? It was the blessed wedding of Scooter and Skippy. They are cousins of mine from opposite sides of the family. They met at a family birthday for Grandma ‘Bubbles’ Chicken and were instantly attracted to each other. So much so that twice they were told to “knock […]
You Stupid Son of a Bitch!
“You Stupid Son of a Bitch!” roared from the lectern, the President pointing his index finger aiming at Chainsaw Chicken. Chainsaw froze in position instead of leaving the press briefing. He slowly turned to face the President seeing who he was speaking to. Biden’s finger remained twitching at him. “Me?? Me, Mr. President?” Chainsaw meekly […]
10 car pile-up
Last week, I was driving along on the Pasadena freeway. I took the exit at Pico Boulevard and was moving well with traffic. I had my tunes playing and I was in the groove. All of a sudden the station played some Bobby Goldsboro song and I just had to change the dial. I reached […]
Am I now Poly?
I am now in a Polyamory relationship. I know. I am so lucky! What is Polyamory? Well, ‘poly’ is an umbrella term for all forms of ethical, consensual, and loving non-monogamy, and for a false teeth adheasive. And ‘amory’ can be used to refer to a place where troops store their weapons. In this case […]
You are cancelled!
Face book jail. Blackballed from Twitter. Banned from making comments on many big-time blogs and discussion sites. Shunned by media. Ignored by Hollywood. Castigated by friends and family. These are all elements of being cancelled by the woke folk! The city paper took this picture of how the locals treat me when I venture out, […]
Mensa Membership
It’s all but official. Soon I can add my upcoming Mensa membership to my resume of achievements. What is Mensa? Mensa is an organization that is made up with members that have an I.Q. at a minimum of 98 percentile. That means if you were in this 98 % of high I.Q. and could put […]