Doesn’t everyone have their own rocket ship, like Richard Branson, Jeff Bazos and myself? If you find that you don’t have your own rocket and you have a overwhelming desire to go to space, you don’t have to pay half a million for a seat. Not near that amount. Only $999.95 or $19 dollars a […]
Crime Out of Control
Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy. One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]
Big Deal, Zuck!
Many of you saw the nation-wide coverage of Ol’ Zuck balancing on his multi thousand dollar electric foil surf board waiving Old Glory. Supposedly happening on the 4th of July, in a publicity stunt meant to re-affirm his patriotic intent for his company and all it stands for to the U.S of A. Not shown […]
Happy 4th of July!
Happy 4th of July! God Bless America from the Chainsaw Chicken family! In just about any other country, I would be drawn and quartered and given to KFC but here, I can say the truth about things and tell it like it really happens. Even if the head man wears aviator glasses or has an […]
Evolution Disturbed
Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved, fully encased body was apparently […]
New Harvard Chaplain
Harvard University has selected a man who does not believe in God to be the school’s chief chaplain. Chief Chaplain Epstein Chicken now serves as Harvard’s Humanist Chaplain. Also,the Massachusetts Institute of Technology (MIT) Humanist Chaplain, as well as Convener for Ethical Life at the MIT Office of Religious, Spiritual, and Ethical Life. “We don’t […]
Bridges over foamy waters
I’m reminded of the time I was at a country dance bar with Mrs. Chicken’s niece. We were dancing it up for hours and drinking the suds to keep cool and hydrated. Now, I know what you are thinking but it is all ‘platonic‘… really. We had one room but we each had a separate […]
Bigfoot Drumsticks
There was little press coverage when a coalition of photographic professionals from NASA as well as experts from Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD announced the results of a digital computerized study of the famous Roger Patterson image of Bigfoot taken on 1967 in Northern California. Recently, claims have been made that the encounter filmed was a […]
Don’t Blame Me
What more can be said? If you voted for me in your last election then you can proudly claim your innocence as everything starts to circle the drain like a discarded cigarette butt flushed in the toilet of the world economy. Get your flag proclaiming your foresight. Send a check in the amount of your […]
Stool Pigeon
They are after me! They are using any method they can to get me. Just like the Attorney General of New York has been quoted to say, “Show me the man, I’ll show you the crime!” This “Stool Pigeon” just kept spewing all kinds of indictments about me! I’ve heard he said things like; “He’s […]