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Easter Island Discovery

Easter Island Discovery

After finally obtaining permission from the government of Peru, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]

Cave Drawings Discovered

Cave Drawings Discovered

An international team of anthropologist and learned professionals were summoned to a small cavern near a hill outside the eastern boarder of France. They are there to examine a cave that has been unearthed. Seen in the cryptograms are wild animals of the day, hunted for food. There are other drawings of humans performing daily […]

Mrs. Chicken Sun Tans

Mrs. Chicken Sun Tans

Mrs. Chicken works on her tan in preparation to defend her fourth place finish in the Kraft Products, Non-beauty contest mentioned in an earlier entry. Good Luck, Mrs. Chicken!       Not Based On Looks

One Win – 22 Losses

One Win – 22 Losses

Most people do not realize that Chainsaw Chicken was on the varsity basketball team with Obama at Punahou High School. This team had the longest loosing record in Hawaii’s high school history. This specific season, the record was 22 losses and one win. This win was because the opposing team, the Hawaii School of the […]

Remember ‘Super Chicken’?

Remember ‘Super Chicken’?

Do you remember the T.V. series from the 1990’s called “Super Chicken”? You are looking at a photo taken from the HBO special ‘Plucked’. Seen here is Chainsaw Chicken in costume for his series that was seen on Sunday’s 8:30 on the WB. Chainsaw Chicken was forced to room with someone from craft services until […]

It’s A Girl! Congrats!

It’s A Girl! Congrats!

No… Not mine… Really. Well… maybe. Ahhhh… Look at the sweet thing. She has her father’s nose and her mother’s eye’s! She is adorable. Really…! Stunning! That’s what you get for ruining Facebook and making it into a money pit! Look for their MySpace page for more info. You might say I got my revenge. […]

CC Gets his Star!

CC Gets his Star!

Chainsaw Chicken was recently honored by the Film Actors Guild (FAG) and awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame. “It was such a honor to be selected” he stated at his press meeting. Chainsaw’s star is placed near the front doors of the business’ “Fredrick’s of Hollywood” and the adult video Arcade “The […]

More Russian Collusion

More Russian Collusion

Again, the treat of Russian Collusion has reared its’ ugly head! Chainsaw Chicken has been arrested by the Special Prosecution headed by Robert Mueller. His crime? He willfully and knowingly listed the 1982 movie ‘Red Dawn’ (the original one with Patrick Swayze , not the remake with Thor fighting off a North Korea invasion) as […]

Like Warm Cake!

Like Warm Cake!

That’s how Nova described the feeling of ‘going to second base’ at least in the first working title of the movie ‘American MILF’ later changed to ‘American Pie’. In fact, an entire second unit was used to film an alternative movie, staring Chainsaw Chicken (known as Johnny Longbow). The film later entered the soft-core market […]

Church Friends Rescue

Church Friends Rescue

My niece was driving in the badlands of New Mexico last week and evidently took a wrong road. She followed it for miles until her TomTom GPS device stopped saying “Turn around and head back to the last town” and started saying, “Don’t Stop, Whatever you do! Your goose will be cooked”. She called me […]

Chicken-Fest 2018

Chicken-Fest 2018

Chainsaw Chicken-Fest 2018 took place with many top rated bands. Bands performing many hits from the 50’s. through the present. Music included the following; Zac Brown Band played ‘Chicken Fried’, The Lost Trailers played ‘Chicken Fried Feet’ , Cowboy Troy played ‘I Played Chicken With The Train’, The Voice Of Harlem played .Chicken Noodle Soup’, […]

Black Moon Cult on Parade

Black Moon Cult on Parade

Chainsaw Chicken is a dedicated cult member of the ‘Black Moon’ society where he recently reached the title of “Lamp Wick” after being a “Grease Lug” for years at that rank. Next he is working to become a “Space Visor” which is comparable to a 33rd degree Mason.     Chicken-dactyl Called Foo

He Made His Bones

He Made His Bones

“You’s guys must respect his works and acheivemental accolades” piped Sonny-Boys as they vacationed at the Florida shore. “How’s ya’s thunk he earns his ‘nick’?… ‘Chainsaw’? He buzzed them undesirables into breakfast sausage.” The Capo’s all posed for a remembrance photo. Seen on the far left is Errol “The horse” (he owns a stable I […]

Chicken Steals UFO

Chicken Steals UFO

As crazy as it sounds, yes! Chainsaw Chicken was able to commandeer and abandoned Unidentified Flying Object left at a community playground in La Cross, Wisc. “The technology is really something” stated Chainsaw. “It was disguised as playground equipment where children could crawl and pretend to fly away. But I figured out the method of […]

Slim Whitman Remixed

Slim Whitman Remixed

“When I’m calling yooooooOOOOoooOOOoOOOO… You’ll be calling me, toooooooOOOoooOOoooo…” Ah yes, remember that stirring sound made so popular at all your favorite watering holes, lounges, casino bars and many truck stops? And that tragic year of 2013?  Slim yodeled his way to his heavenly host and that meant that the world had lost their favorite […]

Before Sonny & Cher…

Before Sonny & Cher…

Yes, before there was Sonny and Cher, there was ‘Mavet and Cher’. They had a moderate career in the Haight-Ashbury district in San Francisco. When Mavet learned that his stage name meant ‘death’ in Hebrew, he decided to use his actual name being Mortimer Chicken. But Mortimer and Cher as a stage name didn’t fly […]

Klondike Nuptials

Klondike Nuptials

‘Deadpan’ Chicken, an ancestor of Chainsaw Chicken during the gold rush in the late 1800’s, joined his fellow miners in advertising for wives. The result of this advertising was the basis for the 1970’s movie ‘Paint Your Wagon‘ . In this movie multiple miners claim shares of a female similar to shares in a gold […]