With a noticeable tremble in his hands and his voice, Chainsaw swallowed hard and dabbed the sweat beads on his brow. “This….. is…. the…the… girls showers!” He paused, moving around, shifting his weight from one foot to another…. “This was sacred ground when I was in school. It was literally ‘no mans land’ to us […]
Wuhan Lab Discovery
Guest scientist Fauci Chicken has been working non-stop for months at the Wuhan Labs, in order to try to avoid the similarities of the issues with Merek’s Disease and Covid-19. Here is what Wikipediphile says about Merek’s Disease in chickens: (look for yourself under ‘Prevention’ at the link below) “Because vaccination does not prevent infection […]
Machu Picchu Lawn Service
Isn’t Machu Picchu beautiful? The stone and grass make such a pleasing image. But you might be asking, “Grass? At 8,000 feet above sea-level? How curious. That must take a real professional yard service to keep it all looking so neat and trimmed with such color”. Let me introduce to you how these patches of […]
First Electric Cargo Ship
News arrived that great Uncle Henry Morgan Chicken has been selected to skipper the first, all electric cargo ship. When asked about this privilege, Captain Henry simply said “Arrrrrr, Supposed to be a great honorrrrr!” his Nantucket accent in full display. The interview continued, “So how long have you been a ships captain? Henry answered […]
Mech-Chicken 2021
Chainsaw Chicken was happy to take possession of a new prototype Artificial Intelligence equipped robot from MIT. The A.I. department has dubbed it “Mech-Chicken”. Mrs. Chicken, was visibly pleased saying, “Oh my word:. Do I have plans for you!” Transhumanism for me!
“Eat it, Jeff” launch ready
Doesn’t everyone have their own rocket ship, like Richard Branson, Jeff Bazos and myself? If you find that you don’t have your own rocket and you have a overwhelming desire to go to space, you don’t have to pay half a million for a seat. Not near that amount. Only $999.95 or $19 dollars a […]
Crime Out of Control
Crime is out of control. Look at the latest tragedy. One of my dear sweet cousins joined the ranks of the cult-like, ritualistic slaughter of chicken for this summer. My cousin was so consumed by the heat of the flames that all distinguishing traits were destroyed. We can’t even tell the sex. “This will probably […]
Evolution Disturbed
Scientist and evolutionist were elated when they heard that a huge block of ice was discovered that encased a prehistoric cave man. It was found at the foot of the glacier out-cropping near Yellowstone Park. Just as suddenly they were mystified and dismayed when they learned that the totally preserved, fully encased body was apparently […]
Bigfoot Drumsticks
There was little press coverage when a coalition of photographic professionals from NASA as well as experts from Chainsaw Chicken International, LTD announced the results of a digital computerized study of the famous Roger Patterson image of Bigfoot taken on 1967 in Northern California. Recently, claims have been made that the encounter filmed was a […]
Gain of Function
With all the talk of ‘Gain of Function” discussion going on, the world has learned a few new and startling facts. While visiting the other food market in Wuhan, China, called the ‘Moist Store’, similar to the infamous ‘Wet Market’, Chainsaw Chicken was approached by representatives of The Wuhan Institute of Virology to participate in […]