All the movies about “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” were based on actual acts by Chainsaw Chicken. His therapy treatment was successful and the threat to the general population has been greatly reduced now that he is on parole and being forced to participate in chemical treatments. Reeducation Camps Begin
Cosmic Chicken Continues
UPDATE: The Cosmic Chicken that terrorized Finland in our previous entry found his way into France. Locals there began rioting and burning structures in the hope of driving out this unwanted prehistoric chicken. He had originally emerged from being thawed by radiation coming from intense exposure to the Aurora Borealis rays. The press has claimed […]
Cosmic Chicken Attacks
The latest news from the arctic region of Finland is not good. The super-magnetism released into our ionosphere multiplying the effect of the latest Aurora Borealis containing a lethal amount of radiation causing this prehistoric chicken to thaw from a glacier. “The process works much the same way as defrosting a chicken from your freezer […]
‘Eyes Wide Shut’
When Stanley Kubrick was scouting for the occult ritual enjoyed by the rich dedicated sycophants, he and his scouting team where allowed to observe a private rite where the leader of this cult would select compliant and willing members to roam within the mist of the incense and noxious fumes. The list of members attending, […]
Easter Island Discovery
After finally obtaining permission from the government of Peru, Bumgardener Chicken started using microwave technology to search Easter Island for more Moai heads carved by the Rapa Nui. Within a few days an entire row of Moai heads where found under the ruins of a past culture. These carvings dated back farther than the typical […]
New Friends to the Rescue
My niece was driving in the badlands of New Mexico last week and evidently took a wrong road. She followed it for miles until her TomTom GPS device stopped saying “Turn around and head back to the last town” and started saying, “Don’t Stop, Whatever you do! Your goose will be cooked”. She called me […]
Black Moon Cult on Parade
Chainsaw Chicken is a dedicated cult member of the ‘Black Moon’ society where he recently reached the title of “Lamp Wick” after being a “Grease Lug” for years at that rank. Next he is working to become a “Space Visor” which is comparable to a 33rd degree Mason. Chicken-dactyl Called Foo
Chicken Steals UFO
As crazy as it sounds, yes! Chainsaw Chicken was able to commandeer and abandoned Unidentified Flying Object left at a community playground in La Cross, Wisc. “The technology is really something” stated Chainsaw. “It was disguised as playground equipment where children could crawl and pretend to fly away. But I figured out the method of […]
‘Crocky’ Finally Located
Known for his hi jinks and tom-foolery, ‘Crocky’ Chicken, (born Eugene Palmaroy Chicken) was finally located yesterday. He was an employee at the Queensland Regional Dangerous Animal Park. Rumor had it that he had walked away from his job after failing to appears for the third sequential personal safety meeting. “Sheba”, the star salt-water croc, […]
Zodiac Re-Opened
The sleepy city of Tierra Del Fuego in Central California raised its head to see this new sketch of the infamous Zodiac Killer that terrorized their community years ago. This new drawing has emerged from one of the only surviving witnesses latest descriptions. Using a new mind numbing procedure, it allowed the witness to gather […]
Early Chicken Worship
In the middle-ages, the early family of Chainsaw Chicken had followers that would dawn outfits made of hand sewn burlap and dried gourds to imitate his look. Thus capturing in their minds the powers and presence of their hero. Seen here is a early tin-type of a Chainsaw Chicken Chorus group chanting during the half-time […]
We Had a Warm Halloween
One of our favorite Halloween activities was to roast our candy…. Creepy, huh? Uncle Chuck’s ’65 Chevy Malibu was real easy to set a flame. Just a lite cigarette dropped on those cotton stuffed seats soaked in turpentine and …. “WOOOOSH!” Stanley was always a nut!
Gigantopithecus Selfie
While on a recent excursion into the wilds of the Asian sub-continent, Anthropological Professor Alsasian Chicken of Wossamotta U straightens up from is morning bird-bath (similar to a sponge bath, but no sponge and no nurse) to see a Gigantopithecus intensely watching his actions. Ever on the ready, Alsasian Chainsaw takes this most unusual selfie […]
KFC Opens in Saigon
As the new franchise opens, there are protests from the first day. There is no fooling the public about the killing and harvesting of these innocent chickens. “Who did they hurt? What harm did they cause?” asked Ramadan Chicken from the Tibetan Ashram near Saigon. These words were murmured shortly before Ramadan immolated himself in […]
The Mrs’ 1st Husband
I know it may come as a surprise to some but before I was in the picture, Mrs. Chicken was previously married. It’s difficult for me to imagine my beautiful wife coupled with someone else, but the truth is the truth. This relationship was quickly annulled when she complained that they had never consummated their […]
Celebrates Headless Cuz
Have you ever seen a headless chicken walking around energetically? The incredible chicken who’s head has been cut off was still able to balance on a perch and move as steadily as any chickens with a head. It has attracted lots of attention from local residents, some people were so amazed and said that seeing […]
The Creepy Neighbor
It appears from this video that this low level chicken-impostor has been practicing how to count to three, just like a 4 year old. What’s creepy is he doesn’t stop. I have reached out to this oddball to get some type of response in order to help us better understand what it is that he […]
Conjoined or Two Headed?
For the first 19 years of life, Cousin Chainsaw Chicken had a conjoined ‘brother’ named Chuck. Chuck’s life was a troubled one. Especially after school kids learned the infamous song where they sing derivations of your first name. ♫ Chuck – Chuck, bo buck, banana-fanna foe….♫ You get the rest. Chuck finally relented and opted […]
Church of Elvis
‘Hounddog’ Chicken, a cousin of Chainsaw Chicken, released this publicity-staged photo of himself with the latest of his 12 wives. Her name is Betsy, seen here, selected by a lottery of members that regularly attend this dark web internet-based cult. The belief contains many rituals in order to gain admission as well as advancement within […]
